I was all up in France with my russian (ukrainian) duo Art and Anthony this May! The plan was to head into Paris and chill there for three days, then rent a car (hopefully something really cute, small and european!) and road trip for three days down to Anthony’s family event in Antibes. I was very excited, having been an early Francophile – French in high school & college, read every Colette novel, studied all the French art movements (favoring Romanticism, Dada, Cubism, and Surrealism). My dad, however, was not. He, like all Americans, thinks the movie Taken is the best movie ever and immediately panicked at the thought that I’d be tricked and sold into heroin addicted sex slavery. I told him that I was too old for that shit and not into Dave Matthews Band and was traveling with two guys, but still he worried…

My bro Billy Kumo kindly took us to the airport:

We left friday afternoon, got through security no problem, then just as we are entering the terminal I notice a couple of men walking past us looking at me strangely and then felt a draft and realized my halter straps came loose and my shirt was exposing my bra! Off to quite a licentious start… So we enjoyed ceremonial pre-flight bloody marys with dinner and boarded the plane. I was just mentally preparing myself for the long plane ride because I thought I’d have some sort of panic attack from being enclosed for so long but the mixture of Merlot and sleeping pill took care of that nicely. I “watched” the Arnold Swarzenegger movie The Last Stand twice, as it was so boring that it also helped me sleep.

After a connection in Frankfurt – my favorite international airport, we arrived at Paris Charles De Gaulle Airport Saturday morning at 10am. After getting our luggage our  intention was to find a shuttle or taxi to the apartment –  but instead we were approached by a very sharply dressed man asking us if we needed transport and through a lot of confusion and a strange version of haggling, we followed him into an elevator and left the airport to go to some shady parking lot? We did not know…and I couldn’t help but think Hey! Doesn’t the Taken part of Taken start with a taxi driver scouting out fresh blood straight out of the airport?

But we were fine. The new Daft Punk single Get Lucky  and Robin Thicke and Pharrell’s new jam Blurred Lines was on in the car and (in every car and store) so I was happy! We wove through highways and into the city and passed Notre Dame and crossed the Seine and we were at the apartment! After some issues getting into the building, we found our way up a wonky vortex of shallow steps to the fifth floor? And we were in!

Our host lady Elodie was so nice and helpful and helped us settle in. We then embarked for some food because we were starving.

Wandered around a bit, found some food, failed to find a place for my compadres to complete their arrival missions of finding the best currency exchange rate counter and finding an Orange for an iPhone SIM card. I was able to complete my arrival mission of attacking a pharmacie and scooping up Bioderma and Caudalie!

Tired, cranky, jetlagged, we headed back to the apartment for naps. This was my room upstairs:

My head touched the ceiling! That never happens…

Later, feeling much better after resting, we ventured out in the night to have dinner at Georges at Centre National d’Art et de Culture George Pompidou where they had a panoramic view of Paris. The restaurant was très elegant and we got bellinis and escargots and lots of great stuff and the DJ played Groove Theory – Tell Me and it made me wistfully nostalgic for Isaac’s Infamous Easter Mix of ’07. Saw the Eiffel Tower do it’s crazy light dance at midnight.

We wandered around a bit after and admired how beautiful Paris is at night with all the bridges and lights glittering on the Seine and street musicians out everywhere and all the people sitting out front facing the sidewalks people watching.